However. i had a very depressing Roanoke experience today. As you might know, I went to a college...well, not in Boston, just outside of it, actually...no, not Tufts! At this college, there is a library called Widener, and it has the 3rd largest collection of books in the US. (After the Library of Congress and the Boston Public Library.) Therefore, when I searched for a book, the library had it. No matter what book I searched for, I could be holding it in my feverish little hands THAT VERY DAY. Even if it was written in 1834 and wasn't in English. This was so wonderful I sometimes crossed myself while entering the library...I COULDN'T HELP IT, IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Anyway. the point is, today I got a Roanoke Public Library card. I was very excited. I ran right over to the computer to search the catalog, with my list of "books to read!!!" in hand. The first book I searched was LOLITA. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF IT. However, the Main Library did not carry a copy. I searched about 300 more books. They had about 3. (Please note I am doing that thing where I lie to make it a better story.) Finally i just walked over to the fiction section..................................
IT WAS THE SIZE OF MY BED.
I LOOKED AT EVERY FICTION BOOK THEY HAD IN UNDER 30 MINUTES.
I felt like Christina Aguilera in that part of Burlesque where she goes, in a way that screams "I practiced this line in my trailer a thousand times":
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME."
(Which, coincidentally, is what I feel Burlesque should actually have been called.)
As I wandered this "section" with a cloud of doom and gloom gathering over my head, losing heart with each Dan Brown title I passed, I heard two people whisper-fighting out of sight and around the corner.
"You listen to me," the man whisper-hissed.
"No, YOU listen to ME," whisper-screamed the woman.
Neither of them listened. This escalated until I heard a barrage of thundering footsteps and looked over to see the man running down the staircase for the exit, with the woman yelling after him, "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SPERM DONOR!"
And with that I took my books to the front counter.
WORD COUNT: 39, 511
(I know, this is not super-much-higher than last time. I went on an editing spree and cut a lot. There's a lot of new/replaced words here. Kind of like cells in a human body. Or water in a toilet bowl. Whichever.)
